Friday 12 September 2008

no rhyme or reason

LOVE

"...is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanos and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because that's what love is." ~LouisDeBernieres

Till I find a way to Love Him more than anything else in the world, anything else will prob have to wait. In His time. In His time.

Tuesday 9 September 2008

The ideal state of peace

I once thought I could change the world.
Armed with the confidence and determination that comes with foolish youth, we thought we could do everything and anything at all.

In time to come, I see how things are meant to be. Change is possible, but it is only evident within self. i like it how Gandi tells it like it is. Be the change you want to see in this world. Before we even think about changing the world in such a massive scale, we really should inspect ourselves, our habits, our own way of life.

This constant struggle between moral standards that we interchange at our convenience has to cease to a halt before we can even think of doing something that may change the environment we're in.

People always point the accusing finger at the leader, in this case, the authorities.
But who elevates the authority these people have over?

Me? You?

Looking back at the successes of villains, one cannot deny that their victories are rarely accomplished alone. So who is in actual control?


The world has many problems. But under close scrutiny, where lies the root of complexity?

The incorporation of animal instincts and minds, these complex, deliberating psyches of the human species are really fascinating, yet extremely volatile.

Capable of good and evil to a great magnitude, all it takes is the flip of a switch.


True courage and bravery without the need to take on arms is far more admirable than the many victories won through violence and war.

don't wanna change the world. I wanna start from here, deep down inside where the heart lies beating.

Listen to your heart, it's calling out to you. Will you listen?

Saturday 30 August 2008

From this time on

The goodness of waking up to the sweet crisp tweeting of birds atop the closest tree to my bedroom window....

Love it how you set the alarm, but nature awakens you at peace in this natural state of alertness before the bell goes off. Screw the alarm, it always makes waking up a chore. Next time I'll beat the alarm to it's beep.

Endeavor to be good to myself this time.
Limitations.
What are your limitations?
Principles.
What principles do you hold?

Do you abide by them at all costs?

Yes I will.

But without a trace of ugliness-
with grace and good cheer, live it out with conviction.

Sunday 3 August 2008

What's behind the closed door...

Complacency is a very dangerous word.
How do I juggle the peace that I have within with my strive for betterment?
I need divine intervention.

You know how dreams are placed in your mind for the very purpose of spuring you to fufill it.

For fear that a dream will be crushed, one stops dreaming. One locks it up and throws the key away, thinking that one will be safe, once and for all. No more heartbreak, no more misery, no more worries, life is much better without it, because if I don't try, I don't fail. Is this the safety we want in our lives?

I yearn, I search, I discover, I change, I wonder, I realize, I find, I keep.
I am tired. I lack persistence, I falter, I pick myself up.
And I go at it, head first. Once again. this world is a dangerous place, an exciting place, and if you don't try it out, you will forever be kept guessing. Healthy curiosity is what I want in my life. To discover what lies ahead....

Tuesday 29 July 2008

I find the power in You

Wine, Music and Candles.
I dream, I float, I am in a world of my own.

Forget everything
nothing is real
Everything is fine
Nothing can bother me
I am strong
I am powerful
I have an Almighty watching over me
Tomorrow will be better than today
Yesterday has past
It doesn't exist no more
leave it behind
Find the spirit to overcome tomorrow
Be brave, Be bold, Be determined to make each day better than the last.


I am what I think myself to be, what can you say to bring me down? Nothing. I will not be bogged down by your insecurities, I will stand firm on my own. I can do it. God will help me if I ask, and I will seek and I shall find.

Tuesday 22 July 2008

When I grow up...

... I will probably not want to be what I wished I was.

Never ever had I wished to be something else short of **name in lights** gorgeous, eyes, body, face... Now, I just wanna be plain, when you know what wonders you can add to achieve your desired effect. Wham! You can just about be anything you wish! So a blank canvas is all you need.

Young and impressionable once upon a time- Beauty, fame and fortune and ultimate happiness always seemed to belong together and Desire for a spot on the cover magazine almost killed the girl from within. Bam! upon realization that everything comes with a price, and a heavy one at that, you end up thinking... I'll rather not have what she has - so I can keep whatever I have that she doesn't - and stay providentially sane.

Har.
The child almost thought that one should always pick their occupation over careful consideration, that it would be what they'll be stuck with. For a lifetime. Phew, when it comes to education, you are only limited by your unwillingness to learn. Go back to school anytime! Make the switch and land yourself a new career! The possibilities are endless. Prestige? Nay! Over working yourself till extinction Vs time to do whatever your leisure and interest after labour AND procuring adequate finances to fulfill it? Give me the latter anytime!

If I should be a square and won't fit in the circle, I could cut so I'll fit (ouch!), or pragmatically, find a box and snuggle up nicely.

Monday 21 July 2008

Repressed

Dependence has been a thing of the past.
Now that individualization has taken place, it brings about this strong sense of self worth and power.
The knowledge that everything can be done if you set your heart to it.
This is a revelation that empowers to a great extent.
Yet, man is not made to fly solo.
But wherein does one find the need, or perhaps, put it this way, what is the lure to conjugate?

Tis a mind boggling 180 degree attitude change has put my whole life into a different dimension, adapting a whole new take on what life is all about.

Suppose I can't make up my mind, what if... what if... well, one will not be likely to find out if one never tries.

Boldness. What a word. The word itself has so much grandeur to it.
I think of "boldness", then "impulsiveness" pops up on the other end of my mind.
Put it in another way, you could say that it is but spontaneity.
But how is it different from the recklessness of impulsiveness?
The dictionary serves up the explanation that being spontaneous means: without meditation, naturally occurring, unplanned and unconstrained.
Impulsiveness is a rash action, not preceded by thought.

So I ask again, then wherein lies the difference?

I am confused. God help me. I don't wish to be impetuous. Shucks, another synonym, complicating things a little further.

Free spirited as one is, It doesn't really bother whatever outcome this might bring, but will certainly strike one with guilt should things fall apart and bring sorrow to the one other.

Does the one that fit to a T really exist?

If one is looking for something that will last, one also fears that the durability will outlast the novelty sometime down the road, akin to a no-refund policy on a misfitted purchase, which is really, very easy to promise at first, but very hard to predict if there be any truth in it.

But one will be selfish to think that the window of opportunity be ever open till the day one makes up their very fickle mind- at long last. It's just not fair to the one in waiting. Is it?

Precisely because there is a future, there is cause for hesitation. If every moment was the last, why should there be anything stopping you from acting on your emotions? Events leading on from whatever we do will lead to consequences we shall have to bear. Can one put aside everything else to just concentrate on the situation alone? Afraid not. Many other elements come into play only after it has been formed.

Happiness is the result of the unconscious pursuit of it from walking the journey, then, I feel, the destination has no real value in it.

Perhaps waiting is still the best option for now. Better not let folly get in the way of rationality to spoil this serenity all now enjoy. If I want modification, at least I am in control. For all it's worth. At least not now.

Sunday 20 July 2008

Who is the one I see, staring straight back at me?

People say, your occupation is a reflection of yourself. It is your identity.
Is it really?

Who am I?

If I tell you that I work as a cleaner, how would you view me as a person?
Am I any less worthy to be present in your vicinity at any given time?

We've been inculcated to link several jobs to an esteemed status and others on a "blue collar" label as we think up lesser jobs to fill up the base of the hierarchy.

I ponder...
If jobs that seem to be easier to get into which do not require an advanced level of studies to undertake, does it mean that anybody at all can do the job well?

If a pyramid (which in this case is the order of hierarchy) is not built with a large, firm base, can it still be considered a pyramid and can we ever build it to the top? Then who, may I ask, can actually support the weight of the blocks at the top end of the structure?

If I think I have what it takes to do a certain job, I'll take it on. If I don't, I'll leave it to others who may be more capable to take on that responsibility.

Life is about knowing your strengths and realizing your limits.
Inspecting your deficiencies and looking at ways to change them for the better.
If you don't like what others are doing, ask yourself, could I do it better?
If you believe you have the inclination, the gift, the talent, the inspiration, then just do it. If not, accept it.
If there's a problem, solve it.
If you can't think of a solution, leave it.
If you just can't stand it, It's your personal problem.
But why let their problem be your problem?
What is your problem?

Let live. Place your focus on yourself and change the world the way you want it by doing something. God is a map, He can tell you the directions, but Hey, you gotta stand up and walk to your destination. Plain faith without action don't get you anywhere.

Life is a difficult journey, sometimes you look at a person and you wonder what it took for him/her to arrive at this moment in their life in one piece, that is, I think, quite a feat.

Be thankful you are alive, well, and in one piece. Really, that's all you need to live. So go, live it out, do what your heart tells you to. Take the words of others in your stride, they can talk, but they can force you not.

Be good to yourself.Cos nobody else can do it for you.

Monday 14 July 2008

Revelling in my thoughts

Didn't manage to clinch any title, nor did I get to win any prizes, but boy I sure had the time of my life.

and that's all I need.

My oh my, it's the simple pleasure of being able to captivate audiences and be free to have the stage to just myself. Is BLISS.
So free, C'est si bon! Tell'ment tell'ment c'est bon!

Dance like no body's watching, sing like you want the world to hear, but knowing that their eyes' are on you.

Love it Love it Love it!!!

I wanna do it all over again!

Friday 11 July 2008

Etch a sketch

Life as a slate board is very alluring to the likes of me. Everyday is a new day, filled with new experiences, though intangible, like the temporary scribblings on the magic slate, serves to add on to the scrapbook of visual memories, retained in the subconsciousness, affecting our every next move, and the decisions we proceed to make.

It will be most unfortunate if one should hold back an adventure by hesitating to seek it out for themselves. Life is an amazing adventure. Some say, every path leads to a future. Whichever path it may be, whatever direction you take. There is a future that lies ahead. We accumulate experiences as we pass the stages of life and take pleasure in the ones that make us happy while we survive the ones that serve to strengthen and build us.

Trouble is an essential part of this journey we take. Else what do we live for? We hunt only because we feel hunger. We work only because we need to satisfy our hunger. Hunger for staple, for extravagance, for beauty, for fame. Bringing us back to the hunger for fortune, so as to allow us to repeat this cycle we title: "Progress".

An article I once read questioned the progress of mankind and how this longing motivates us, yet, inevitably disables us in more ways that we can think of. It robs us as we add to it. Deprives us of what really matters, our happiness, or so, we fail to recognize.

Can contentment go hand in hand with the strive for improvement and progression? These two words seem to be at loggerheads with each other. Can we possibly strike a balance between these conflicting longings that mankind have relentlessly tried to pursue since the beginning of time?

I assume not till any of you are able to challenge my thoughts and serve up a plausible explanation.

Everything in this world is made up of two colours. Black and White. Counterparts that are impossible to blend. We can only accept the fact that on every white area, leaves room for a black spot, vice versa. To think that the Yin and Yang symbol have been mistakenly associated with a particular religion when what it actually represents is simply the reality of life.

The next time you come by a symbol, ask oneself what it denotes. It does not necessarily have to represent a culture, for it is but a representation of an idea, not a stance.
It is only what you make it out to be. Subjectively you are always entitled to be right. But that does not prove others to be wrong.

Tuesday 8 July 2008

Think about this

It is interesting to notice how some minds seem almost to create themselves, springing up under every disadvantage, and working their solitary but irresistible way through a thousand obstacles. - Washington Irving

Saturday 5 July 2008

Instincts

Trust is very much overrated.
can one ever do it wholeheartedly?

I hate to think, No.
But what is the reality towards this issue?

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, and He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

This is the only guarantee one can ever have in life.
You'll think, I trust my instincts. But sometimes instincts don't make you feel at ease.
Whenever I start to begin thinking of settling a particular crisis in MY own terms,
more often than not, I begin to place myself in the circle, then my thoughts would lean towards the universe with ME in the centre of it all.
But hey, what's so great about ME?

The very true fact is, I am nothing. I am but one person, contributing to this universe, my existence, it don't matter. The world will not stop, with me or without.

I made up my mind.
If I declare love, shall I limit myself to Love "within limits"?
This is hard to say, but I choose not to.

God gave me a choice.
God did not put me through this to kill me, instead, he trying to use the situation to my advantage, to strengthen me.

How should I react?
Should I put self interest above others?
If I don't think for myself, then who will care to assume responsibility towards my well being?

More often than not, every time we place ourselves in the "pity box", we retract our minds and fail to realize the immense potential of how we can change the situation to turn it into the best thing that could ever happen to us.

What can HE not possibly do?
He tells us to Love, but he forgot to say, how much?
We ask, when do we draw the line?

But the true question is: why is there a need for a line?
Love knows no boundaries. Isn't it?

Love is like a pivot, where we fix ourselves upon.
then the dial is free to move around, all 360 degrees.
It never ends.
Such is the limitless Love we receive, such is the magnitude of love we should give.

I endeavour to banish all thoughts of "What about ME?"
and adapt the :"I can do that for you!" attitude towards life.
Peace is about being able to sleep well at night,
and peaceful slumber i will have for life.

Friday 27 June 2008

By Golly

For me to revive this long forgotten blog of mine, I guess it must have been the accumulated longing for assignments that pushed me into this. Yeah, I really miss assignments. I must be nuts, you think. I dread exams an awful lot, but when it comes to essay based stuff, you can always count on me to produce one with glee.

It feels good to let out your opinions on paper without the need to argue. To state a viewpoint and make it apparent to the reader how this point has many advantages yet, still considering the opinion of others through referenced details and information.

It is hard to accept someone's differing view when a conflicting issue arises at some point in a conversation.
Why?
Is it because the act of acceptance signifys defeat in another sense?
It is so hard to humble oneself to say sorry.
So we choose not to admit our faults. Instead we insist.
But what help is it to a situation if we hold on to our faulty take on a problem and try to cast every other probably more feasible ideas away?

The result is simple to hypothesize.
The discussion gets nowhere, and everybody leaves vexed and all heated up.

Is it so hard to just let go?
What good does it do to be stubbornly opinionated?

Note to self:
Better to be open to the ideas of everyone then try doing things your way, anyway.
Like they always say, two brains are better than one.
That's why we are made with two ears and one mouth.
Better to leave our pride aside, so our ears stay open.