Ere I forget all the joy that is mine, Today

Today, I was tempted. Tempted to feel that, it is not enough. That for all that I have, it is not enough. I compared myself to others. To the trend of having a bigger, larger, more expensive thing. I asked: If I have it, why can't I flaunt it? It's not like I have less than what they do! Don't they have the same job as I, earn a similar wage as I, I can afford it! And I want to flaunt it! why did I keep telling myself that a little one is enough? I cried. I felt so bad inside. So freaking bad. So disappointed at myself. Here I am, letting the devil play with my mind again. I let the devil consume my mind, my heart. Till my male colleague, simply told me, everything material, it is but a symbol, it does not matter how big or how expensive anything is. In fact, my dear, it is but foolishness to think that money can buy everything, including love and happiness. Remember, it cannot. Instead, put the money to better use. Use it wisely. Let the devil not tempt you again. For something big you buy, to flaunt, there will always be someone who will do it bigger, and better. And you will always be chasing the clouds. Let the clouds go, and see the sun shine through.

On life

So tired, I am, of protecting oneself. People think I'm depressed or what, like suicidal? I won't commit myself to it. I can't, I'm not that brave. I think brave is not the word here. Maybe it's cos I cherish my life enough to think that, no matter what happens, God will be there to help me. Only He can save us from ourselves. You know, everything is meaningless. The struggle of good against evil, fighting temptation. I only seek to maintain a sense of integrity. I don't see it as an obsession. It's about living life well, the way it's supposed to be. In all gratefulness of how the world is made, and what it has to offer. It's such an amazing thing to take in the sights and sounds. In the end, it's all meaningless, yet, there is a sort of peace that comes with enjoying the beauty in all comers of the world. You know what I am really troubled about? The material world. I used to own lots of things, travel everywhere, eat everything. But then I realised that I didn't quite enjoy all those things that much. I discovered that I can do just about anything, where I am, and just immerse myself in the present. The now. Feel the emotions run high, or low, or be neutral about my feelings. It gives a certain kind of acknowledgement, an understanding of how I feel about certain issues, the weather, the surroundings. It's wonderful being able to discover the me that I am. What I like or dislike. Somehow, I've gotten over detesting anything. I have passed the stage where there is anything to detest. For it is a strong word to use. It's interesting discovering and making sense of the world everyday of my life. I'm like a child again, looking at the people around me and seeking to go under and discover their core, what makes them unique. I don't see why I should grow to leave the child that I was. That I still am. But with more insight as the years go by. I used to draw a small house, with a small garden. that's all I wished for as a kid. Something small. But then, nobody told us about mortgages. And all I thought was, I would one day earn enough money to buy myself a nice little cottage. with a little garden. That I thought to myself, I can manage easy. But then friends now live in big houses. and talk about big things, like their travels and the foods they eat. It's about bigger, better, richer lifestyles they can afford. Or can they really afford it? I have friends who live in little houses, that they can't afford either. what is affordability? How can we measure that? by which yardstick do we measure what we can afford? Is it 25 percent of your income? or 60 percent? perhaps 90 percent? It's a gamble, isn't it.

mind on semi-overtime

I got to thinking.
Once again.

To be true, one has to live in honesty, can't do anything that you don't believe in, can't please everybody. Nobody likes an antagonist, why, its no surprise no one would like to be antagonised. But its really ok and possible to stick to your guns sans being an annoying prickling thorn. To seek to please God, not people. Saying that, Luke 2:52 does state that Jesus did grow in wisdom and in favour of God and man. Take a leaf out from His book (literally speaking, there IS a book), shouldn't we? Now, I better get back to the book.

Luxe

Quality is what you pay for.

Here I'm thinking, is it not good enough you have something yet you want to spend more to upgrade.

How much is enough?

The idea is that the more obscure (it) is the more exclusive it becomes, the more it rises up in the desirability stakes.

Nature and basics CAN be luxe too.

Many times its the experience that counts.
Not how wild or extravagant it is, but how you derive the joy from it that translates the event into a meaningful portrait of memory.

Live is Luxe.
Your life is.

Things happen that don't fit into your idea of luxe.
But you can make it be.

to be continued......

Consider them

Everyone is eternally interested in what is in it for them. Not that it is a problem. This is just how people are, you , me, everyone. So why don't we think of what is in it for them? Befits you, Befits me. We can make the world a better place. Because we are in the world, our actions impact the world at large. Even if it only helps one person, the domino effect will go on. Someone has to make the push. Servant hood is not making yourself a slave. You don't have to be a slave. I believe God wants us to serve, not slog. I may not be able to save the world in direct terms. But WE can make the world a better place by spreading the love and joy He gave us. How you do it is your choice. Pray God will show you how.

At times we feel for others and we think they could have been helped in a better way. It's not easy to accept that their way may be the best for them. Who knows what is best. It is beyond definition. I guess we can only consider our own circumstances and decide for ourselves. Can't decide for anyone else. We can try to place ourselves in their shoes, but all we can really do is try, because we are not them we cannot truly understand. Try with all our might, that is the only thing we can do really... i think.

the simple things

There are too many products in the market these days that promise to deliver what you don't need. Yet it is good cos it is something new, something innovative, something to make things a little bit easier, to give you more time on your hands, to enjoy the better things in life. Like, like what?

There is always some experience waiting to be discovered. Something more exciting, a different realm. We are curious, that's why danger appeals to us. For fear is being afraid of the unknown. We fear what we don't know, and what we don't know we cannot foresee the consequences, even for what we know, we still try to push the boundaries, refusing to let precedents stop us from the hope of a breakthrough.

We are the only species that nothing depends on for their survival. We are beings that consume. I cannot think of any species that consume as much as we do. We take and when we give back, we feel as if we are making a contribution. When we stand at the point of nature's perspective. We'll be glad those humans didn't take more than they needed out of greed. Nature has it's amazing way of renewal and regrowth. Give some time. Time will take care of everything. But what we are short of is time. And time- we want to control. We seem to want to control everything. Are we freaks or what?

Well i suppose it is a good thing some people do what they do and other people make up for what those people do. In this age and time, its all about one group of humans balancing out the effects of the over consumption of the other group of humans. Humans giving other humans a purpose in life, a passion to pursue.

God is truly working. For what. I really cannot comprehend. The more I try to comprehend the value of my existence, the more the mind wanders into the far end of the world, never to come back. What will be will be. To be basic and to be secure in the knowledge that basic is best. Just be the best you can be. what else can you do?

Inspiration is a beautiful thing

A series of letters put together has no life other then the meaning it is prescribed to it. Then it becomes a word. And this word becomes so powerful however you choose to look at it by placing it in the middle of a sentence. A construction so marvellous you can put yourself across and make people feel how you feel even without speaking. Better still, having a spectrum of ways to digest a particular sentence makes it all the more spectacular.

Life is worth living when you have meaning.
Search for it, find it, and keep it close to your heart.

May your everyday be filled with meaning, does'nt matter what it is, if the meaning you find in your life benefits the greater good or just keeps you from trouble, well i don't see why not purposefully causing harm is not a good enough meaning to get by.

Who can tell you what is best? Providence has to go with acceptance and acceptance is a personal decision. Between you and God, you can whisper in a crowd to Him, cry when you're alone to Him, you don't have to pray out loud, He knows your thoughts.

How wonderful, How beautiful. Nobody can take this away from us. Nobody can control how we think. But God can inspire us to think differently.

The freedom to be happy

Someone once said that happiness lies not in the destination, but the journey.
One has the freedom to choose to either forfeit their happiness or stay happy in the midst of all circumstance.

How do I make a problem cease to be a problem? It is not a problem unless I see it as so.

Perhaps we sometimes look around us and we are enveloped by fear. Because we ourselves judge others, therefore we fear the judgement of others, thus affecting what we do or not do.

But really, really, really,
should we allow that to happen?

Psychologists like to attribute a fear of something back to one's experience hence we blame that particular experience for causing us to act in such a way that is not beneficial to us.

I wonder, do we have a choice?

If God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of POWER, of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND, can we not act in a way that would be for our welfare?
He give and take away, my heart will choose to say, Blessed be His name.
He has made us to overcome.
In every circumstance, as we strive to please Him and Him alone, we can overcome as we cease to judge and understand that the judgement of mere people cannot overwrite the Good that God has in store for those who obey Him. Now the question that leaves to be answered is: How should we obey Him?

Advertising space

It seemed lucrative enough. Smart enough. Something we should all do cos, why not?
It seems a very plausible idea to generate some income on the side. Might as well!

Until one looks closely at the endorsement of something that you have no control over, and realizes: a mistake it was.

How does one support what you don't condone?
Condone: is to give tacit approval towards something. Even when it simply means just keeping quiet in its presence.

Many opportunists lurk and target those looking for monetary support for their personal causes.

Yet more often than not, commendable causes have the ability to speak for themselves and garner the right sort of support even without the need to so much as to seek.

Rather than letting questionable companies benefit by milking it for all its worth in advertising potential, why not inspire those who truly support the cause to lend a helping hand purely for the sake of true, honest to goodness admiration for the stance?

I'm over drug companies dishing out freebies to healthcare professionals to help get their drugs off the market and into the throats of unsuspecting patients who only have praise for their specialists believing that they're in safe hands of a Doc who knows better than the others in introducing this "miracle" drug for their exclusive use. Later do they know they've been taken as specimens of the animal testing calibre...

On doing the neccessary

Polly put the kettle on,
Suky take it off again.

Polly should know by now that the fourth time Suky takes the kettle off again (without any hint of remorse)and deprive everyone of some much needed hot tea in the cold winter nights, Polly should really do something about it.

Or when is it ever going to end?

For every small slip of the tongue, bears a consequence that can be rather damaging when one starts blowing it into epic proportions that can enhance their position as a victim.

Cleverly, Suky knows that placing herself as a victim can easily attract pity and definitely pull votes of empathy in her desired direction.

But this only works when Polly keeps quiet. Because no one knows the situation better than Polly herself, and, of course, Suky too.

Polly must speak.
and put her claw down in the process...

So all can have tea.

Maybe Suky could put her kettle removing talents to good use somewhere where they can use her expertise... Sure sounds like it will work out better for them all!

Everything in moderation

Why thinking too much may not be good for you?

"May my will forever be, ever more your own."

These lyrics sound it out to me ever so clearly.
Indeed, maybe not being able to top the class (Ever!) does have its advantages (in life) after all...

I have never... !

How can a story be so concise, so simple, yet, so hard to digest?
It hurts my brain to even peer over to peek at the book cover.
Never ever has any book baffled me to this extent whilst prompting me to reach for it in failed attempts to read at least five consecutive pages in one sitting.
Even philosophical books don't pack so much depth in one sentence alone.
Utterly amazing. I must say.
There is a strong possibility that I have no knowledge of its particular core subject that runs as a theme throughout the book that makes it extremely boring.
Yet, the determination alone to find out its essence, befitting a nobel prize that keeps me going. Curiosity really works magic to motivate.

Can I have a Cuppa

Dry, and lifeless, they go in.
Pop the kettle on till it shouts.
Tipping in, pipping hot,
twirls and swirls they dance about.
Infusing its essence, they straighten out.
Settle some minutes, they blend the drops.
Sip a cuppa, tummy warms up.
Bin the tip and wash them out.

Here we go round, once more and about.

I need to do something fun or I'll seriously bore out. Bleh :P

Invisibility

Means no control over how someone may respond, but by not being able to be seen, one can do practically anything that may please oneself without embarrassment of any sort.

Does that mean one could be destructive?
Probably not.
With invisibility comes freedom. To be who you wanna be.
But it does not mean that your actions and it's impact will be diminished.
In fact, it has hardly any effect in that sense.
Rather, its charity or perseverance done (not "shown") without affirmation.

Would you do what you do,
What would you seek?
Would you want what you've got,
What you want if no one can see?

It's interesting peering into your innermost desires by examining the reasons behind your daily motivations and behaviours.

Does human praise matter that much to you?
Or do your purest form of passion for life take precedence?

Sometimes Love just aint enough

Sometimes enough is enough.
I believe in Jesus, but really, I am but human.
When I pray, He listens, He guides me, to overcome.
He gives me the strength, to do what is best for my circumstances.

I am not limitless. But yes, I know God is.
That's why I encourage you to depend on Him.
Because when you need someone, He is always there.

When there is no one else you can turn to.
He is there for you.

Love is not about senseless giving.
At least I think you cannot give what you have not.

It is the empowerment of the self through the immense power that God possess that you must unlock.

and that, my friend. IS enough.

Just what I needed most for now

Mary Poppins.
Undeniably a classic, a rerun on the player reminded me of something that I really had to put into my punny little not so bright brain of mine.

I have to say, it worked like magic. Helped heaps to make me realign relationships. The ones that we are blessed with but tend to horribly overlook.

Now tis what Bert replies to the children about their father.
I SO get it. After 24 years. NOW, I get it.

Let's sit down. You know, begging your pardon, but the one my heart goes out to is your father.
There he is in that cold, heartless bank day after day, hemmed in by mounds of cold, heartless
money. I don't like to see any living thing caged up.
They makes cages in all sizes and shapes, you know. Bank-shaped some of 'em, carpets and
all.
Look at it this way. You've got your mother to look after you. And
Mary Poppins, and Constable Jones and me. Who looks after your father? Tell me that. When
something terrible happens, what does he do? Fends for himself, he does. Who does he tell
about it? No one! Don't blab his troubles at home. He just pushes on at his job, uncomplaining
and alone and silent.
I only observe that a father can always do with a bit of help.

All because You believed

As I count my blessings, I count the people who willingly take time out to provide advice as one.
Itś amazing how no two people can ever have the same life experiences even though they may come from the same country or village. So there is always something different about how we come to form our current expectations in life shaped by the many events that lead up to our present.

Ever careful to respect where every person´s advice may have taken form, I still believe what I believe.

I choose to still hold on to what I believe.
Not what I think is right. But what I hold in my heart to believe in.

The tricky part on the receiving end of advice is that sometimes one cannot help but become very much muddled especially when the majority don´t seem to think much of your rationality influencing your would be decision.

Surely my Faith can sustain me.
Surely Godś ability is bigger than what I can imagine.
Surely He can work it out even when people think otherwise.
Surely if I call on His name, He will guide me and He will give me a future, Full of Hope, for my welfare, and not for woe.

Surely and steadily, I need not worry.

Because.
I BELIEVE.

Zombie state of life.

When I lead life as it is, on auto pilot, not consciously making an effort to think of my next step of action... I become a walking zombie.

I ask myself, is this what I want to become? With all that He has given me to achieve, is this what i really want to be? A carbohydrate draining walking machine without much use as to just take up space?

Itś like going to the doctorś.
Communication is key.
If they don know your symptoms, they won´t know whatś wrong with you.
If they have no idea what´s bothering you, they cannot treat you.
Sometimes, they give you a false assurance that everything will be fine. You really just need plenty of rest.

But you know your circumstances better than they do (or care to know).
So really, its all about knowing your options, and pushing for answers.
Nudge.
Nudge.
Too many times i´ve forgotten to ask and think that accepting their prognosis as it is is the best thing I can do.
No more.
I´ve learnt to nudge.

If its because I respect your capacity as a doctor, and I trust that you would know better to listen and provide me with whatever advice I need that I come so far to (even pay) to see you.

Forget that I even paid to see you.
Tell me why you became a doctor in the very first place.

God didńt say everything will be easy. Smooth, without glitch.
But itś the glitches that make one sit up and really think hard.
Why do I pursue the things that I pursue.
Do I really want this so much that I will use all that He has given me to overcome.
Barriers give way.
Mountains move.
Walls crumble.

Yet, if this doctor fails to meet the standards of competency, or never even tries hard enough.
At the very least, the patient can choose to go to another doctor.

So many times I´ve been fed up.
Now I´ve learnt to fully trust and let Him do the guiding.

Surely my God will want the only best for me.
Surely His best will be glad to do his best for Him.

Life is a battlefield.
Yet we have God´s full Armour for protection so we can fight.

Ephesians 6:10-13

I always thought I can glide though this life, unnoticed.
But by being unnoticed, is it really what He has set me out to be?
He has made me to be more than this. What am I hiding my God given abilities for?
Nothing good is ever easily achieved.
Its time I regained consciousness.
I CAN DO THIS.

dot dot dot

Does my personality make me, or do I make up my personality?
Which comes first?
If I'm not moving, am I lagging or just at rest so I can push it when I need to?
Sometimes life runs on autopilot.
The feeling of being at ease means one is lacking emotion.
Does it matter my emotions are neither sky high nor down in the trenches?
If life were a symbol, this is what it would look like for the week (.........)

Maybe emotion is overrated.
Mood: Content.

La lettre pour le muguet, moi parents, et moi destinée

If grace is mercy and undeserved favor, then it can never be demanded of.

I pray for the desire to come from within.
Beyond -the need to fulfill yet another duty.
Beyond -just so that good can be done.
Beyond -reason.

But.... just because.

Just because.... I want you to have it.
Just because.... I want you to be happy.
Just because.... I really, truly, care.
And I know you will do the same for me.
Cos you feel exactly the same as I.

If i ever find it by the Grace of God,
will you bless me.
Because your blessing means the world to me.

I thought I never bothered about what others may think.
But in the end, it really does matter.
It matters to me- every tiny bit.
Because you mean so much to me for me not to ignore what you think.

I am a girl of simple words.

Of a simple mind.

Of a simple longing:
To have, so I can offer.
Show me all that I can offer. If You will provide.