Zombie state of life.

When I lead life as it is, on auto pilot, not consciously making an effort to think of my next step of action... I become a walking zombie.

I ask myself, is this what I want to become? With all that He has given me to achieve, is this what i really want to be? A carbohydrate draining walking machine without much use as to just take up space?

Itś like going to the doctorś.
Communication is key.
If they don know your symptoms, they won´t know whatś wrong with you.
If they have no idea what´s bothering you, they cannot treat you.
Sometimes, they give you a false assurance that everything will be fine. You really just need plenty of rest.

But you know your circumstances better than they do (or care to know).
So really, its all about knowing your options, and pushing for answers.
Nudge.
Nudge.
Too many times i´ve forgotten to ask and think that accepting their prognosis as it is is the best thing I can do.
No more.
I´ve learnt to nudge.

If its because I respect your capacity as a doctor, and I trust that you would know better to listen and provide me with whatever advice I need that I come so far to (even pay) to see you.

Forget that I even paid to see you.
Tell me why you became a doctor in the very first place.

God didńt say everything will be easy. Smooth, without glitch.
But itś the glitches that make one sit up and really think hard.
Why do I pursue the things that I pursue.
Do I really want this so much that I will use all that He has given me to overcome.
Barriers give way.
Mountains move.
Walls crumble.

Yet, if this doctor fails to meet the standards of competency, or never even tries hard enough.
At the very least, the patient can choose to go to another doctor.

So many times I´ve been fed up.
Now I´ve learnt to fully trust and let Him do the guiding.

Surely my God will want the only best for me.
Surely His best will be glad to do his best for Him.

Life is a battlefield.
Yet we have God´s full Armour for protection so we can fight.

Ephesians 6:10-13

I always thought I can glide though this life, unnoticed.
But by being unnoticed, is it really what He has set me out to be?
He has made me to be more than this. What am I hiding my God given abilities for?
Nothing good is ever easily achieved.
Its time I regained consciousness.
I CAN DO THIS.