Repressed

Dependence has been a thing of the past.
Now that individualization has taken place, it brings about this strong sense of self worth and power.
The knowledge that everything can be done if you set your heart to it.
This is a revelation that empowers to a great extent.
Yet, man is not made to fly solo.
But wherein does one find the need, or perhaps, put it this way, what is the lure to conjugate?

Tis a mind boggling 180 degree attitude change has put my whole life into a different dimension, adapting a whole new take on what life is all about.

Suppose I can't make up my mind, what if... what if... well, one will not be likely to find out if one never tries.

Boldness. What a word. The word itself has so much grandeur to it.
I think of "boldness", then "impulsiveness" pops up on the other end of my mind.
Put it in another way, you could say that it is but spontaneity.
But how is it different from the recklessness of impulsiveness?
The dictionary serves up the explanation that being spontaneous means: without meditation, naturally occurring, unplanned and unconstrained.
Impulsiveness is a rash action, not preceded by thought.

So I ask again, then wherein lies the difference?

I am confused. God help me. I don't wish to be impetuous. Shucks, another synonym, complicating things a little further.

Free spirited as one is, It doesn't really bother whatever outcome this might bring, but will certainly strike one with guilt should things fall apart and bring sorrow to the one other.

Does the one that fit to a T really exist?

If one is looking for something that will last, one also fears that the durability will outlast the novelty sometime down the road, akin to a no-refund policy on a misfitted purchase, which is really, very easy to promise at first, but very hard to predict if there be any truth in it.

But one will be selfish to think that the window of opportunity be ever open till the day one makes up their very fickle mind- at long last. It's just not fair to the one in waiting. Is it?

Precisely because there is a future, there is cause for hesitation. If every moment was the last, why should there be anything stopping you from acting on your emotions? Events leading on from whatever we do will lead to consequences we shall have to bear. Can one put aside everything else to just concentrate on the situation alone? Afraid not. Many other elements come into play only after it has been formed.

Happiness is the result of the unconscious pursuit of it from walking the journey, then, I feel, the destination has no real value in it.

Perhaps waiting is still the best option for now. Better not let folly get in the way of rationality to spoil this serenity all now enjoy. If I want modification, at least I am in control. For all it's worth. At least not now.